“9 Signs You Are Dealing With An Emotional Manipulator”

Emotional manipulation is an art form, a true skill set. Unfortunately it is a devious and dangerous method used by self centered people who want to get what they want by manipulating you. They win, you lose.  A skilled manipulator can destroy your self esteem and may even cause you to question your reality. Thus, the reason for this article – to help you become aware of signs that someone may be trying to do this to you in some form or fashion.

Dr. Travis Bradberry has written an informative article on this subject. I am sharing his “9 signs” and adding my own commentary.   See if you know any people who do these things.

  1. THEY UNDERMINE YOUR FAITH IN YOUR GRASP OF REALITY: EM’s (emotional manipulators) are skilled liars. They are so good at this that you question what really is going on. They will say this happened when it did not. They will say this did not happen when it did. They are pretty convincing.
  2. THEIR ACTIONS DON’T MATCH THEIR WORDS: They say one thing and do another. Tough to keep up with this deceitful behavior.
  3. THEY ARE EXPERTS AT DOLING OUT GUILT: This is a biggee! They keep you on the defensive by making sure that whatever you believe, say, or do is wrong. Your fault!
  4. THEY CLAIM THE ROLE OF THE VICTIM: This is another clever move. Nothing is ever their fault. It is always someone else’s fault and they are the victim. They do not take accountability for anything. They’ll pin it on you.
  5. THEY ARE TOO MUCH, TOO SOON: They skip steps, share too much too soon, and expect the same from you. They portray vulnerability and sensitivity, but it’s a ruse.
  6. THEY ARE AN EMOTIONAL BLACK HOLE: Whatever EM’s are feeling, they are geniuses at sucking everyone around them into those emotions. Also, they make you feel that you are responsible for these bad feelings and you are responsible to fit them.
  7. THEY EAGERLY AGREE TO HELP – AND MAYBE EVEN VOLUNTEER – THEN ACT LIKE A MARTYR: They express this willingness to help and then morph into sighs, groans, and suggestions that this is such a burden to them. If you question this they will turn it around on you and help you feel guilty for questioning this incongruity.
  8. THEY ALWAYS ONE-UP YOU: No matter what problems or situations you may have, Ems have it worse. They undermine the legitimacy of your complaints by reminding you that their problems are more serious, so shut up. They take it over and focus on themselves.
  9. THEY KNOW ALL YOUR BUTTONS AND DON’T HESITATE TO PUSH THEM: EMs know your weak spots, and they are quick to use that knowledge against you. For example, if you are insecure about your weight, they comment on what you eat or the way your clothes fit. Their goal is to make you feel bad so that they may feel better about themselves and the situation. They always want the upper hand.

The key to dealing with Ems is to be aware of what they are doing. Once you have determined that they are of this type, distance yourself emotionally and behaviorally. If you must continue to interact with them, establish clear boundaries so that their tactics cannot harm you in any way.

Well, Respected Reader, do you know any of these types? Hopefully this writing has alerted you to be more cognizant of EMs in your life. Do not let them infect your being. They are hurtful!

“The unexamined life is not worth living”    Socrates

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