Are You Able to Truly Love Yourself? Need to!

Of all the relationships in the world that exist the one that is the most important for you is the one with yourself. You are brought into this world to become all that you can be, to develop every ounce of your potential.  Your caretakers hopefully have given you a solid core on which to build, but it is the task of every adult to be responsible for full development — physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and socially.  No one is here to take care of  you, no one owes you anything.  This is not an argument for extreme rugged individualism. There is no question that we can reach our full potential only while connected to other supportive people in our life.

If you do not love yourself you have nothing to give to others. (“You can’t give what you don’t have”)  Each of us has the Spirit of Love within us that empowers us to value ourselves, have high self esteem, and grow into a loving contributing human being.  Personal self love is a prerequisite before you can develop a healthy friendship or romantic relationship.  Self love is not to be equated with being solipsistic, selfish, and self absorbed.  For these people they are the be all and end all.  A truly loving person loves him/her self and shares that love with others

How do you know if you love yourself?  First, you might want to look at ways that you are not being your best self.  Some of those characteristics and behaviors might be:


  1. Eating disorders. 2.  Drug and alcohol misuse.  3.  Tobacco use.  4.  Being in unhealthy relationships. 5.  Depression or frenetic activity.  6.  Excessive spending.  7.  Limited productivity or excessive workaholism 8.Judgmental and critical of others.  9.  Not forgiving of self or others. 10. Pornography involvement


Needless to say no person is perfect and no person totally loves him/her self.  Personal growth is a work in progress. Such reality should not deter, however, your quest to be the best person you can be. People that love themselves act out from their inner core, their loving spirit or intuition.  They are free to be themselves.  Their motto is “What you think of me is none of my business”.  They do not need the approval of others to feel adequate.  They enjoy acceptance like anyone else, but they do not bend and contort themselves in every conceivable shape to get the praise of the crowd.  They are not excessive “pleasers”. Nor are they “controllers”, who always need to be right, in control, in the spotlight.

An interesting exercise in developing genuine self love is to write on a piece of paper all the things that you like or value about yourself.  Share this list with someone who cares and ask him or her to do the same.  You will experience a flow of positive feelings/energy that moves you forward to a greater ability to connect with yourself and with others. Self awareness of what is “right” and good in you is the first step in positive self-love. Seeing these same qualities in another person is an indicator that you are improving in this vital area of healthy living.

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