Being Your Best Self And Creating A Loving Relationship

Most people want a loving relationship that is special and enduring. Most people do not have a clue as to how to create and maintain such a relationship. This writing focuses on finding a healthy balance within yourself and then developing the skills needed for such an endeavor. If you have already reached such a state of excellence, read no more. I expect that most of you will continue on!

Let me address balance first:

  1. Are you a person with thick “Desperado” walls around you? You are so closed off such that no person can touch your heart. OR, are you the other extreme having no boundaries. You are so open that any misfit can steal your heart. You continually get hurt.
  2. You are cynical, sarcastic, don’t trust anyone. OR, you are naïve, easily suckered in. Way too trusting.
  3. You are pretty closed mouthed, don’t talk much. OR, you never shut up, yakking all the time.
  4. You are not very aware of your feeling and unable to share what you do feel. OR, you are too open with uncontrolled waves of feelings.
  5. You are overly cognitive, always in your left brain. OR you are not very logical and thought out.
  6. You are a Lone Ranger type, independent. You don’t need anyone or anything. OR, you are very needy and dependent.

How do you come out on this? Balanced? Leaning one way or the other?

Skills. Like any successful endeavor you need to know what skills are needed to reach the objective.

  1. Communicate openly and effectively with both content and feeling.
  2. Be affectionate, capable of giving and receiving love.
  3. Be compassionate, capable of empathy. Not critical or judgmental.
  4. Capable of forgiving, letting go, and moving on.
  5. Be honest, worthy of trust and respect.
  6. Be dependable. “Suit up and show up”!
  7. Have a sense of humor. Laughter is a great connector.
  8. Understand romance and have the ability to bring it to your partner.
  9. Be capable of sensual touch and pleasurable love making.
  10. Have an adventurous spirit exploring life to its fullest.

(Certainly there are more but I thought I would stop here and let you master these ten before moving on to more!)


I hope you are in a loving relationship and that the above commentary further embellished it. If not may you heed the solid advice offered here to move you forward, capable of entering in and maintaining such a relationship.


“The unexamined life is not worth living”   Socrates


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