Archive for the ‘Mother’ Category

Where Did The Celebration Of Mother’s Day Come From?

Wednesday, May 7th, 2014

Do you know where the celebration of Mother’s Day came from?  Just as so many other wonderful people and ideas have come from the Greeks, so, too, is the origin of Mother’s Day.  AncientGreecehad a spring celebration in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods.

In theUnited StatesMother’s Day was first suggested in 1872 by Julia Ward Howe (who wrote the words to the Battle Hymn of the Republic) as a day dedicated to peace.  In 1907 Ana Jarvis began a campaign to establish a national Mother’s Day and in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made it an official national holiday.

To all of you good and nurturing mothers, including you step mothers who have stepped into a need, you deserve your day for you have given much. To any of you who may have failed to be a good mother, may you apologize to your children and work to get it right while you still have time.  Everybody needs a good mama!  To you mothers-to-be, know that it is a sacred and fortunate role.  It is crucial to the development of a physically and psychologically healthy child.  Do it right!

To children of good and nurturing mothers, honor her and thank her for her love and sacrifice which has made you such a wonderful person!  To children whose mothers were clueless, tell her where she screwed up and vow to do better for your kids.

To husbands of mothers, thank your wife for giving you the privilege of being a father and being a partner in raising your children.  Give her a personalized card, flowers, and make the bed!

Those of you who read this column with regularity know that one of my central tenets and concerns is how a child’s brain is formed (wired) in early childhood by the parents – especially the mother.  The following poem by Turlough O’Carolan speaks well as to the influence of a loving and welcoming mother.


A mother’s love determines how

We love ourselves and others.

There is no sky we’ll ever see

Not lit by that first love.


Stripped of love, the universe

Would drive us mad with pain;

But we are born into a world

That greets our cries with joy.

How much I owe you for the kiss

That told me who I was!

The greatest gift – a love of life-

Lay laughing in your eyes.


Because of you my world still has

The soft grace of your smile;

And every wind of fortune bears

The scent of your caress.



“Born To Be A Mom”: Your Destiny?

Thursday, January 30th, 2014

A woman said these words to me the other day, “I was born to be a Mom!” She was describing her desire and hoped for destiny. The words came from deep in her being. She has been a Nanny and now is hoping to find the right man, get married, and fulfill her dream life of being a Mom.

Another woman in my practice said the same thing recently. She was thirty and hoping that her current relationship is the one that leads into marriage and parenthood. She, too, feels that she was “born to be a Mom”.

Our daughter, Brittany, is a SAHM (stay at home Mom) and loves it – most days. She also has a “cottage business” income stream from her consulting and blogging in the areas of nutrition, exercise, and overall wellness, including family life tips. Being a Mom is her “calling”.

The young Nanny got me to thinking. She was the Nanny for three kids for five years. The parents proclaimed that their life’s satisfaction came from their work. The Nanny wondered why they chose to have these kids if they were not going to be around them to nurture and mentor them, and give them that security that only a present loving parent can give.

The question I raise to women is this, were you “born to be a Mom”? Is this your primary purpose in life or ancillary to what you were really meant to be? Or, perhaps you have a limited maternal instinct and motherhood is not your desire? Or, perhaps a combination or motherhood and career bring the most satisfaction?

These questions of clarification are not meant to critique, judge, or prescribe what any woman should do, or be. What I am asking is what is your primary purpose in life? Where does having children fit into your picture? Or not?

As for you men, I also suggest you know who and what you want in your mate. Do you want to be a Father? If so, make sure that you do your “due diligence” in choosing a mate. And if Fatherhood is not your desire, make sure that you are clear about that with any potential marriage partner.

When I wrote my desired list of qualities that I wanted in a wife, being a “good and devoted Mother” was in the top three. And I got her – and more! My wife Sherry has been a terrific Mother, as has our daughter, Brittany. And our son, Kris, did his due diligence well. He married Cara who is a terrific Mom to their daughter. Our family is fortunate that these three women knew who they were and in this case each was “born to be a Mom”!

P.S. I wonder if there are some genetics involved here as both my Mother, Sherry’s Mother, and Cara’s Mother were stay home Moms who did a terrific job!

May you, Respected Reader, know what is right for you and be able to fulfill that destiny!

Motherhood: A Body and Soul Journey: Welcome Baby Kyla Rose Stathas!

Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

This week culminates with the celebration of Mother’s Day – a day to honor deserving mothers.  My mother Betty is living.  My wife Sherry is a mother.  Our daughter Brittany is a mother. And this week our son Kris’ wife, Cara, became a mother. Kyla Rose, join the family that loves you so! Some thoughts on being a Mother from a grateful son, husband, and father! And therapist.

I am fascinated with life’s unfolding of a human being, including the stages reached and the adjustments made over the course of a lifetime.  No person goes through more physical, emotional, and spiritual changes than a mother.

Perhaps the journey begins with “Ohmygod, I’m late – missed my period!” Is that good or bad news? Depends on the readiness state and stage of the girl/woman involved.

Conception has happened. Her whole being is stirred up. The body expands, breasts and belly, getting ready to welcome and nurture the child. Emotions run the gamut as hormones and life situations play out. The spiritual element of being a co-creator of a baby can be exhilarating. The miracle of life!

The bittersweet painful and joyous birth is deeply experienced- hopefully accompanied by a loving mate and eager-to-be father. Together a loving couple welcomes their child into the universe. This is the ideal, I know, but the ideal is always the goal.

As the child grows, develops, and tastes the varied menu of what life serves up, a mother is “with” the child like no other. The child came from her body where, hopefully, she nurtured him/her with a healthy life style and a loving welcoming heart.

Infancy, nursing, the during the night “get ups”, the “terrible twos”, playtime, day care, going off to kindergarten, middle school, puberty with all its upheaval, high school drama, and “where did the time go” empty nest” – and all the varied events and emotions therein- significantly impact a mother.  And mothering is not finished here, even as the adult child moves on through life.  Mothering continues forever.

Highs and lows, fear, anger, sadness, sacrifices – wrapped in love are a mother’s journey.  Hopefully the trail has been one mostly of happiness and overcome sorrows.  Hopefully, the child has matured into a loving, responsible, happy, and grateful adult.  Hopefully, the child/adult is appreciative of what his/her mother has put into her job

of parenting. Hopefully, the child’s father is grateful for what the mother has given the child, and him, through her efforts.

And, hopefully, sons, daughters, and mates will join me in a well deserved


Thank you, Mom, Sherry, Brittany, and new mother, Cara, for your nurturing motherly gifts!


P.S. If you are a mother who has not done a good job of mothering yet- please turn it around and be the wonderful mother you are capable of being and receive the commendations worthy of your efforts.

Are You a Mom? Have a Mom? Have a Grandmom? Have a Wife Who is a Mom or Step Mom?

Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

This Sunday we honor Mothers (called by many a familiar name – Mom, Mommy, Mama) – and deservedly so.  Mothers know what they have gone through to bring children into the world and do their best to lovingly care for them through the growing years.

Mothers, you have a singular privilege – bringing a child into this world!  You have felt the unique pain of birthing and the sweet joy of holding a new born.Nurturing,soothing, hugging, “being there”, empathizing, healing, correcting, congratulating, are but a few of the mothering responsibilities. There are so many roles and functions that a mother carries out on behalf of her children.

Others of us, the “kids” may or may not know the efforts and sacrifices that our mothers have gone through on the journey of raising us.  Most mothers don’t brag or whine about what challenges we have brought to them over the years.  They just want us to be healthy and happy.  They deserve their special day of recognition.

Stepmothers, we honor you as well.  Too often you are not appreciated for the significant role you play in raising a child.  You make many sacrifices and have to make many adjustments to the unique position you play in the family.

Some family men choose to not honor their wives on this occasion. They say “she’s not my mother.” Such a man does not see the bigger picture.  He would not be a father if his wife had not delivered, and primarily raised, his kid(s).  A woman cherishes her role as mother and is appreciative of her husband’s acknowledgement of her contribution.
Husbands, don’t miss the opportunity to show your love and gratitude to your wife as mother.

Also, husbands, please teach your children when they are young how to honor their mother on this designated day, and every day.  Take them to get a card or other gift of thoughtfulness.  (With such parental education, you may even get something from them for Father’s Day!).

Thanks Mothers everywhere.  Keep bringing us your steadfast love.  We will try to return it in kind and be the person you hoped we would be when you delivered us out of
your body into the world.  Happy Mother’s Day!

On a personal note.  Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Sherry, for being wonderful mothers! And daughter Brittany, you’re doing an awesome job with baby Hailey!