Archive for the ‘Personality’ Category

Your Personality: How Do Others See You? Take This Personality Test And Find Out!

Saturday, March 22nd, 2014

Have you ever wondered how other people see you?  Do you even care?  How do you see yourself? Recently I came across an instrument that is very short and yet very insightful. You answer the following ten questions, score them numerically, and “presto”, you have a description of your personality as others see you. Dr. Phil has taken it (55), Oprah has taken it (38).  My mother, wife, and I have all taken it and found it to be amazingly fitting.  Want to give it a shot?

Do this inventory straight through without looking ahead to the descriptors because it will bias your evaluation.  Are you ready?

  1. When do you feel the best … A. In the morning.  B. During the afternoon and early evening. C. late at night.
  2. You usually walk … A. Fairly fast, with long steps. B. Fairly fast, with little steps. C. Less fast, head up, looking the world in the face. D. Less fast, head down. E. Very slowly.
  3. When talking with people you … A. Stand with your arms folded. B. Have your hands clasped. C. Have one or both your hands on your hips. D. Touch or push the person to whom you are talking. E. Play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair.
  4. When relaxing, you sit with … A. Your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side. B. Your legs crossed. C. Your legs stretched out or straight. D.  One leg curled under you.
  5.  When something really amuses you, you react with … A. Big appreciated laugh. B. A laugh, but not a loud one. C. A quiet chuckle. D. A sheepish smile.
  6. When you go to a party or social gathering you … A. Make a loud entrance so everyone notices you. B. Make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know. C. Make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed.
  7. You’re working very hard, concentrating hard, and you’re interrupted … A. Welcome the break. B. Feel extremely irritated. C. Vary between these two extremes.
  8. Which of the following colors do you like most … A. Red or orange. B. Black. C. Yellow or light blue. D. Green. E. Dark blue or purple. F. White. G. Brown or gray.
  9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are … A. Stretched out on your back. B. Stretched out face down on your stomach. C. On your side, slightly curled. D. With your head in one arm. E. With your head under the covers.
  10. You often dream that you are … A. Falling. B. Fighting or struggling. C. Searching for something or somebody. D. Flying or floating. E. You usually have dreamless sleep. F. Your dreams are always pleasant.

Okay, now that you have made your choices, it is time to score them.

  1. A=2, B=4,C=6
  2. A=6, B=4,C=7,D=2,E=1
  3. A=4, B=2,C=5,D=7,E=6
  4. A=4,B=6,C=2,D=1
  5. A=6,B=4,C=3,D=5,E=2
  6. A=6,B=4,C=2
  7. A=6,B=2,C=4
  8. A=6,B=7,C=5,D-4,E=3,F=2,G=1
  9. A=7,B=6,C=4,D=2,E=1
  10. A=4,B=2,C=3,D=5,E=6, F=1

Now, add up your total points and see which of the following descriptors explains you.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should “handle” with care. You’re seen as vain, self-centered, and extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could become more like you, but don’t always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality, a natural leader, who’s quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once, someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting. Someone who’s constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head.  They also so you as kind, considerate, and understanding, someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expects the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.  They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it.  They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive; someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn’t want to get involved with anyone or anything.  They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don’t exist. Some people think you are boring.  Only those who know you well; know that you aren’t.

Well, how did you do? Did your score and its descriptor hit the nail on the head?  Did you like the description?  Anything you want to change in your personality style?

“The unexamined life is not worth living”      Socrates

Are You Free To “Doubt”? Or Does “Hardening of the Categories” Have You Closed Off?

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

     A while ago I saw the movie “DOUBT”.  Riveting.  Oscar worthy. It impacted me in several thought-provoking ways.  It has a great story line and incredible acting. How about you?  Have you seen it?  Your reaction?

     DOUBT is a personal movie for me.  I have lived much of the way of life portrayed in the film. I grew up Catholic.  I was an altar boy (filled the cruets and sneakily tasted the altar wine); was slapped around by the nuns (but got my grammar correct); became a priest (tried to bring love and compassion to a stodgy church while never touching an altar boy).

     In the seminary for five years I studied the Bible and how it was formed, Christian History, denominational spin offs,  and how Dogma and Church practices were developed – all emanating from the simple teachings of Jesus. As I learned more I moved from the faith certainty of my youth (“Yes, Father”) to the doubt of my seminary trained adulthood.

     One of the themes of the movie was tolerance.  Tolerance invites openness, freedom to explore, and non judgment of others who may live a different form of existence or belief system.  It is the opposite of intolerance – dogmatically proclaiming truth and condemning those who differ.  Some people are threatened by DOUBT, their own or that of others.  Their fear leads them to resort to the safety net of rigidity.  They have “hardening of the categories”. Their motto is “don’t confuse me with the facts”.

     Faith is a wonderful thing to have – as long as you understand that faith is a “leap” (as the Protestant theologian Kierkegaard taught). Faith has no certainty or logic about it.  It is a belief – a hope – that something exists. It cannot be objectively proved. (Confer Merriam – Webster dictionary)

     Doubt is to be sanctioned and encouraged in a free and diverse society.  It, hopefully, means a person does not take things for granted, buy into something just because s/he was told that XYZ is true.  Gullibility can lead to painful consequences. Doubters can be searchers after truth – open to dialogue and greater understanding. Unfortunately doubters can also be dogmatic, which is oxymoronic behavior.

     In the film a man was judged, vilified, gossiped about by a dogmatic woman who “leaped” to a conclusion based on her “intuition”.  She ruined his life and noble ministry and in the end cried as she expressed her “DOUBT”.

     And you, respected reader, do you have doubt in regard to any facet of your life – in  whatever or whomever you have faith?  God, Church, denominations, institutions, your fellow human beings, individual people?  What do you believe?  Who do you believe in?  Are you tolerant, a seeker finding your own beliefs and practices?

     The movie DOUBT is provocative and invites reflection on many levels.  My hope is that this article suggests the same to you – the freedom to doubt – and not judge (“There is only one Judge” – and you ain’t it!) as you come to conclusions about what is right for you to believe and live faithfully – and, perhaps, even share with other seekers of truth who may also be free enough to DOUBT.

       “The unexamined life  is not worth living”    Socrates

Do You Have a Controlling Personality? Involved with One? Take This Test and Tally Your Score

Friday, August 26th, 2011

     Personalities are described by various theories and nomenclature.  An interesting descriptive paradigm is the Pleaser-Controller continuum.

     Pleasers and Controllers usually end up together, resulting in polarization, tolerable compromise, or synergistic union.  Pleasers are reactive personalities, avoiding conflict, and usually are emotionally retentive.  Controllers mostly are energetically expressive, go-getters, often with anger overtones.

     It can be helpful to know if you are a Controller – or married to one. Controllers are both male and female.  The following Controller inventory by Dr. Deepak Chopra is taken from his book, Ageless Body, Timeless Mind.  The following inventory should be helpful to determine if you are a Controller or if someone important in your life is one.

Give yourself a point for each one of which you can answer with frequently, most of the time, or almost always:

  1. I like to be in control of work situations and am much happier working alone than with others.
  2. When I’m under pressure, the easiest emotion for me to show is anger or irritability.
  3. I rarely tell anyone that I need them.
  4. I tend to harbor old hurts.  Rather than telling someone that he hurt me, I would rather fantasize about getting even.
  5. I have quite a few resentments about the way my brothers and sisters relate to me.
  6. The more money I spend on someone, the more that means that I love them.
  7. I keep to myself how unfairly others treat me.
  8. If a relationship starts to go bad, I secretly wish I could take back everything I bought that person.
  9. If it’s my house, the people in it should follow my rules.
  10. I find it hard to admit being vulnerable. I don’t often say “I’m wrong” and mean it
  11. It’s better to nurse my wounds than to show someone that I’m weak.
  12. I’m a better talker than listener.
  13. What I have to say usually is important.
  14. I secretly think others don’t take my opinions as seriously as they should.
  15. I have a pretty good sense of what’s good for people.
  16. At least once in my life I got caught opening someone else’s mail
  17. People have called me cynical or negative.
  18. I have high standards, which others sometimes mistake for criticism.
  19. I tend to be a perfectionist.  It bothers me to let a sloppy job go out.
  20. I feel uncomfortable if someone gets too close to me emotionally.
  21. After a relationship breaks up, I look back and think I was mostly in the right.
  22. I’m neat and orderly.  I like my way of doing things and find it hard to live with someone who is sloppy.
  23. I’m good at scheduling my day and put a high value on punctuality.
  24. I’m good at caring for other people’s needs, but then I get disappointed when they don’t think as much about mine.
  25. I have a logical explanation for the way I act, even if others can’t always accept it.
  26. I don’t care that much if other people don’t like me.
  27. In my opinion, most people don’t usually express their true motives for the way they behave.
  28. I’m not good at handling noisy or rambunctious children.
  29. I still blame my parents for a lot of my problems, but I haven’t told them so.
  30. When I get into an argument with my spouse or lover, I can’t resist bringing up old grievances.


Total score_______

Evaluating your score:

0-10 points.  Your personality isn’t dominated by an excessive need to be in control.  You are likely to be comfortable with your feelings and tolerant of other people.

10-20 points.  Being in control is a frequent issue with you.  You have more fears and hurt feelings then you let on, but you don’t work hard to resolve these feelings.

Over 20 points.  You are a controlling person. You feel that control is necessary because people hurt your feelings a lot, and your memory of this goes back into your painful childhood.

     This inventory can be a meaningful instrument to heighten personal awareness and can serve as a valuable tool for dialogue with your significant other.  Control is an important dynamic in all relationships.