Do You Need A Reminder Of Your Dating Behavior? It Worked! Still Is?

The headline of this article is taken from a current popular song “Remind Me”, sung by Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood. Some of the lyrics state:

“Do you remember how it felt?                                                                                                                                                                            Remind me, remind me.                                                                                                                                                                                                All the things you used to do                                                                                                                                                                                      that made me fall in love with you.                                                                                                                                                                  Remind me, baby remind me”

Do you remember your early dating times?  What are some of the things that you and your then lover did to help you fall in love and choose to live a life together? You probably thought about that person often.  You tried to come up with ways that would make that person be enamored by you. You were probably charming, fun, and very giving. You were even romantic! And, perhaps quite sensual as you touched hearts and bodies.

Do you remember those times?  Bring a smile to your face?  Do you still have that loving feeling?  Do you still do many or most of the things you did to endear yourself to your partner?  Perhaps you need a reminder.

When a couple commits to a life together, there is a certain expectation that each of you will continue to be the same person that created this love union.  You trusted the other person and made a commitment “for better or worse” that your love would not fall by the wayside.

Some people have been able to maintain such consistency and their love flourishes year after year.  Some people falter for various reasons and the couple’s relationship is temporarily detoured.  A few of these couples seek couples therapy and get back on the road to shared happiness.  Others let the dream     turn into a nightmare. And then there are some who got caught up in the PEA chemical infatuation and should never have married and, thus, divorced – hopefully without first having children or hurting each other any more.

What might serve to “remind” you of the thoughtful loving things you used to do?  What words and behaviors do you need to dust off and bring anew to your partner?   Might you want to look at pictures from your early years together? Perhaps re-visiting certain places that contain special memories?  Certain “oldie” songs may remind you of an era that was special for the two of you.

When I dated Sherry some thirty five years ago I remember saying to myself that I did not want to set up expectations that I would not be able to consistently deliver year after year. Many individuals do “false advertising” in their dating times by saying and doing things to get the other person to the altar – and then over the years discontinue them.  I think I may need to ask my wife to “remind me, baby remind me”. How am I doing?  Do you, too, need an occasional reminder to bring your best self to your life partner?

“The unexamined life is not worth living”                       Socrates

Comments are closed.