What Non Verbal Messages Are You Sending To Your Love Partner?

Various researchers and pundits have speculated that anywhere from 55 to 90 percent of our communication is non verbal. Thus, Respected Reader, you might want to be concerned with the message you are sending non verbally.  Beyond being aware, you may also want to be intentional as to the non verbal message you want to send. The intent of this article is to assist you to be intentional and loving with the messages you send to someone you love.

Winifred M. Reilly, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, has written about this topic and has some suggestions on how you can say “I love you” without saying a word. I will list many of these suggestions and add further commentary. I would like to be able to read your mind as you react to reading these suggestions. Do you find them silly, unimportant, thought provoking, inspiring, etc…? Most of them fit within the categories of gestures of kindness, generosity, attention, and touch.

  1. Do the stuff neither of you wants to do but needs to be done by one of you.
  2. Give your partner some slack when s/he messes up. You are not a parent or judge.
  3. Flirt. It can be fun and bring forth good stuff.
  4. Be patient. Take a few deep breaths and relax when your partner is not “up to speed”.
  5. Pay attention, full on and undivided when something of import in being imparted.
  6. Clean up beyond the call of duty. Not your dirty cup? Who cares? Put it in the dish washer.
  7. Stay present. Don’t run away, physically or emotionally.
  8. Let your guard down. Vulnerability and intimacy are the same thing.
  9. Receive and welcome loving efforts by your partner. Perhaps an acknowledging smile.
  10. Stop a fight in its tracks. Stay calm when your partner is all upset. Don’t escalate.
  11. Leave enough gas in the car, enough hot water for a shower, milk for the coffee.
  12. Initiate a kiss. Hug back. Warm smiles are nice.
  13. Give your partner some space.
  14. Stay in touch. A text here and there saying hi or I’m thinking of you is thoughtful.
  15. Support the dreams and desires of your partner. “Thumbs up”!
  16. Be the first one to reach out after a disagreement . You be the classy one.
  17. Make your relationship your number one priority. Date nights, getaways, keep the fire burning.
  18. Turn off your phone when together unless some significant reasons suggests otherwise.

Respected Reader, do you do some of these? All? Keep it up.  If not, step it up! Your non verbal really does speak loudly to your partner and is an indication of how tuned in and caring you are.

“The unexamined life is not worth living”    Socrates

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