Your Marriage Creates Good Or Bad Chemicals In Your Brain!

The brain runs the show. So, train it! Brain chemicals react to various stimulators. The more vulnerable you are in certain conditions determines the chemical response. If you feel safe and nurtured the “feel good” chemical of oxytocin is released. If you are feeling threatened in any fashion, the “flight or fight” chemical cortisol is released. Oxytocin fuels the brain and body, while the stress chemical cortisol depletes.

Marriage partners are vulnerable to each other. Therefore they are susceptible to strong chemical reactions as they interface. Positive interactions promote safety, connection, and closeness, thus keeping the oxytocin flowing. Negative interactions cause fear and anger. Cortisol seeps in.

Dr. Athena Staik, prominent relationship therapist, suggests five behaviors that couples should be continually doing to ensure that oxytocin bonding continues. Such behaviors ward off the stressful cortisol depletion sending couples into the “fight or flight” mode.

  1. PROVIDE ASSURANCE: Unexpected disappointment or demand zaps your energy and makes you feel uncertain of your partner’s love. Consistent words and actions keep that desired closeness. That old Holiday Inn ad speaks here: “The best surprise is no surprise”.
  2. RESPECT ONE ANOTHER – UNCONDITIONALLY: No matter what differences of opinion that arise or anger that mounts, respect needs to be maintained. Respect and trust are the foundations of a loving union.
  3. STAY FOCUSED ON ACTION-BASED SOLUTIONS – NOT PROBLEMS: Partners in good relationships maintain an awareness of what is going on between them. They identify problem issues quickly and then focus their energies on finding solutions and consequent positive actions to keep the momentum of a satisfying secure relationship.
  4. MAINTAIN POSITIVE EXPECTATIONS: Expectations are beliefs. Beliefs affect our emotions and, thus, the behaviors that result. Couples in solid relationships expect the best and do what is necessary. Positive expectations raise the probability of good outcomes.
  5. BE FLEXIBLE: Flexible thinking is a must for relationships to continue to thrive over time. The flexible brain is open to explore possibilities that pragmatically work to energize the couple to make decisions fostering a love connection.

Bottom line here, Respected Reader, is that if you want to develop and maintain a safe loving relationship, you need to raise your consciousness as to what your, and your mate’s, brain need. The brain thrives on oxytocin.  So create it and ward off the threatening cortisol! High consciousness loving individuals train their brain so that it can lead to a loving sustained union between two people who value the relationship and create the necessary chemical foundation. Are you one of them?

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